*UPDATE* Neither of the goats we thought had CL had it! They both had unrelated illnesses that were neither a concern to the health of our other goats, nor to ours.
“Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.”
Our vet called last night with the preliminary necropsy results and all evidence points to our little goat, Mocha, having died from Claseous Lymphadenitis (CLA), the very thing we were afraid that Mini Pearl had.
It’s highly contagious and it’s incurable. It can live in the soil for up to two years. There is very little chance that any of our animals have escaped exposure (except, possibly, the cow, and CLA isn’t common in cows even if she were exposed.) Every area of pasture we have, besides the field the cow is in, has been exposed. It is transmittable through milk and the normal course of action – the one our vet is recommending – is to cull all animals who have been exposed.
In the course of one phone call, everything we planned to do has come into question. The Milk Enough project has come to a halt before it ever began. How is this even possible? Considering all that God has done to bring us here, considering all the supernatural blessings He’s provided for us to get us to this point, how could this happen?
I haven’t talked much on the blog about this lately, but I believe that God heals. I believe that disease doesn’t exist in heaven and shouldn’t exist here. I believe that God has given US the power to heal disease, through the Holy Spirit. Theologically, I believe all of that. Experientially… I don’t.
I’ve been asking God to give me faith regarding healing. I hate the fact that I don’t trust Him in this area, and I want to. I want to know Him intimately. I want to know Him as a savior, provider… healer.
Whatever the reason for all this, whatever His plans are that I’m sure include much more than I know or understand, He has presented me with a training ground. In the grand scheme of things, while it seems overwhelming and enormous to me, this is a very safe place to begin my journey of trust. To begin a war, of sorts, on myself and the lies I have believed about my Savior. I have seventeen animals here who have been exposed to an incurable disease. I could hardly ask for a more perfect place in which to begin this journey. I am ready to fight for something that has far more worth than the animals in our field.
“If people are not being healed, I will not supply a rationale so that all those around me remain comfortable with the void. Instead, I will peruse the healing until it comes or the individual goes to be with the Lord. I will not lower the standard of the Bible to my level of experience. Jesus healed everyone who came to Him. To accept any other standard is to bring the Bible down to our level of experience, and deny the nature of the One who changes not.”
– Bill Johnson
I am ready.